Happy 5th Birthday to my sweet angel!

Lily Lin, You are 5 years old today. My eyes well up with tears as I type these strange words. Wasn't it just yesterday that we brought you home from China? You, a tiny little thing, scared and timid!?! Look at you now: My shining star. A friend to everyone. A performer who loves being in the spotlight. I remember wondering what you might be like when you grew. Wondered what kind of conversations we might have. Never in my wildest dreams could I have imagined the person you have become. You are my kind-hearted, beautiful, smart, talented child. You are my hilarious, witty, companion. My days are bright and interesting because of you. Grocery shopping used to be my most dreaded chore. Now, with you in tow, I find it to be so much fun. I love how you'll remind me to get stamps, or thank the cashier for giving us the "buy one get one free deal" on potato chips. Your enthusiasm for life is contagious. You are happy to do just about anything, and are thankful for all things given to you. If we have a picnic you will certainly declare it the "best picnic ever" and you'll mean it. every time. You are my dancer. You loved it from the very first class you took when you were 3, and your passion for it just continues to grow. You are so excited to take ballet in the fall - as you are "through with tap". Ready to take flight as a ballerina. I watch you with such pride and admiration - I can't even imagine where your dancing feet will take you...but I feel so blessed to be along for the ride, and I'll always be your biggest fan. This past year has introduced some big changes for our family with the arrival of your baby brother. Watching you embrace the role of big sister has been a delight. You are SO SO SO good with Devin...there was never an uncomfortable transition for you. You loved him with your whole heart right from the start and continue to call him "the best baby in the whole world" and thank God for him on a regular basis. He feels the same way about you. Sometimes if mommy can't get him to stop crying, I'll ask you to help and it almost always works. He adores you - he is mesmerized by your every move. We all are.

Happy Birthday to the best daughter a mom could ever ask for. I love you the biggest, the best, and the most. Forever and always, Mommy

Lil tidbits...and Dev bits too!

Lily is still my pretty, pretty princess...which also happens to be the name of her new favorite game. She has enjoyed preschool a ton, and learned so much, but is ready for summer fun now. Her last day of school is next Thursday - and we're both looking forward to it. We have a special Mother's Day Tea this week, and then a bowling party next week to end with a bang. She has always been a bit "quirky", and now that she's getting older it is showing up in different (and interesting) ways. She is SO detail oriented. She wants to know everything about everything. She is mesmorized by infomercials and will tell me things like "we need that mommy, it kills 99 percent of germs" and "they'll give us one for free if we order now." She insists I read the labels on her lotions and soaps over and over (and over) again...and is just as interested the 100th time I read them to her as she was the first. She is very enthusiastic about the "green" way of life - reminding me when I am wasting energy or water...or when I am throwing something in the garbage can that SHOULD be going in a recycling bin. Her favorite book is "Chicka Chicka Boom Boom" and she has memorized every last word. She not only reads it, but SINGS it daily. Detests movies - all of 'em. She is convinced they all have a scary part or character (which is kinda true), and she wants no part of it. She still adores her baby brother, and he comes alive when she talks to him...the feeling is apparently mutual.
Speaking of Dev...
He is doing SOOOOO great! He has changed dramatically over the past few weeks, and I thank God every day for the sweet, happy-go-lucky boy he is right now. I also know that babies are unpredictable and subject to change at any given moment, so I'm just livin' in the moment. He is on a pretty regular schedule these days, and his sleeping spans at night have gone from 3 hours to 4 or 5 hours, which is nice. He loves being "sweet talked" to. He smiles, coos, and even laughs. He still loves his swing, and now enjoys his bouncy seat and his "Baby Mozart" video. He likes to hang out on the ottoman, just kickin' his legs and staring at his fist. He likes his crib and sleeps well there. Loves his formula - eats like a champ. Honestly, the only thing he really doesn't like is being held. I usually only hold him after feedings, to burp him, and sometimes to rock him to sleep.

Those are all the bits I can muster up right now...until next time!

Thank God for smiling faces!

Hmmm...I nested, I prayed, I waited, I cried, I read, I stressed, I wondered, I ached, I nested some more...but nothing could have prepared me for this. Life with a newborn baby. My life. Please do not think for one moment that I have lost sight of the GIFT that Devin is to our family. I am well aware. And I am thankful. I love him. However, the past two months have been more exhausting and draining than I had ever dreamed possible. I knew I would lose sleep, but I didn't understand how much more I would lose. I pictured him sleeping peacefully in his carrier while I went about my business. I never dreamed that going to the bank with him would be a risky adventure. I would have laughed at you if you had told me I would be too scared to take both my kids to the grocery store! Gimme a break! But, it's true. I've yet to take on that task with my sweet screamer in tow. I am proud of myself when I get Lily to preschool without incident. How pathetic am I? I have been assured and reassured that he is a typical baby, and that things should get much easier in a couple months. And, things are already looking up. He screams a lot less than he used to and he is now SMILING ALL THE TIME! And he has the cutest stinkin' smile. He also coos and laughs, which is doing my heart a lot of good. Thank God for the these sweet smiles! Lily, of course, is still my smilin' angel. She absolutely loves Devin and is the best sis ever. She is totally immune to his screaming - it's like she doesn't even hear it. (I wish I knew her secret!)

Holding hands.

Devin looking at Lily while she gives him some love. ("petting" his head)

laughing/cooing

sweet, chubby smile!

My angel babies.

Also, at Devin's 2 month appointment today my doc raved about how well he is doing. He now weighs 13 lb 4 oz, and is 24 and 1/2 inches. At the end of the day, I am so glad I have been blessed with healthy (and generally happy) babies.

I know I will eventually return to "myself". Just need some time (and some sleep).

Thanks to my friends who still check in on me. I do check on you from time to time, I just don't usually leave a comment. (oh, and some of you have gone private and I'm "locked out!) Kathy, you left me your new blog addy and I have misplaced it - I'd love for you to leave it for me again.

Six Weeks Today

Lily and her "freighbors" (neighbor friends)

My little dude

Sleeping beauties

Devin is 6 weeks old today, and I do declare that I am finally exiting the fog. (I think).

It's amazing how quickly my days fly by, but if someone were to ask me exactly what I DID that day? Hmmm....

It would go something like this:

Fed him, burped him, changed him, held him, rocked him, swung him, swayed him, soothed him, AH - he's asleep. (repeat)

Now, it would be lovely if I could catch a quick nap while he slept but there is a sweet 4 year old who needs me. Lily is doing great as a big sister, but she is quick to tell me when I'm not paying enough attention to her. So, while Dev sleeps we keep busy together. Her new favorite thing is Dora Scrabble, and luckily, I find it enjoyable as well. We also spend hours coloring beautiful masterpieces which are hung all over our house. (the fridge is full).

I am now showering AND changing out of my pj's daily. This is big news! I don't have much computer time, and when I do get here I feel like my brain is mush...putting meaningful sentences together takes a lot of energy.

-Devin is doing really, really well. It was a rough start. But the formula we have him on now seems to be working wonders and now he'll cry in 10 minute intervals rather than hours on end. He seems to be much more comfortable in his own skin, and that makes this momma very happy! We've seen him smile several times, and it is the cutest thing ever! SO much cuter than his perma-scowl. I'm guessing he's at least 12 pounds, as he is outgrowing his 0 to 3 month clothing and fits pretty nicely into 3 to 6 month...yeah, biiiiig boy. He loves his swing, and is starting to like his bouncy seat too. We've introduced him to "Baby Mozart" and "Praise Baby" videos, and he'll actually watch those for a bit now too.

-Lily is fabulous. She loves her brother and is a big help to Jay and I. She seems so much older now - it's freaky. When I read to her, she is now pointing out all of the punctuation marks. "Mom, that is a period. It means the sentence is ending. And that's a comma. You need to pause and take a breath. And when the sentence is a mystery, it ends with a question mark. Did you know that, momma?" She still has issues with her speech - certain letters that she has trouble pronouncing. But now she is AWARE of it. She said to me the other day "Mom, I can't say the "Tay" (K) sound unless it is followed by an "L" like in dance C-L-ass. I think that is just so intewesting!"

So, she is growing, learning, and maturing...but is still just a funny, happy-go-lucky little girl. We have enjoyed getting outside on the days when it's been warmer, but are ready for spring weather to get here and STAY so we can spend most of our time outside with friends havin' some real fun.

That's all for now.

Our family of four

Our journey to Devin was a crazy, whirlwind of a ride. We were still grieving the loss of baby #1 when my social worker told me to get some pictures together for her. The very next week we received a phone call saying that we had been chosen! (this happened ONE DAY before I got the call saying that baby #1 had been born.) SO, Jay and I decided to go forward with this adoption. We knew it was a boy, and we both felt in our hearts that our next child was indeed a boy. (Baby #1 was a girl, by the way). The following week we met the birthparents. To say the meeting was awkward would be such a ridiculous understatement. But, we survived, and it was just the beginning of weeks filled with awkward encounters. I learned to wake up every morning saying "I cannot do this alone, God. You gotta help me big-time"...and He did. This experience stretched Jay and I in ways we never dreamed possible. But, because of it, I got to hear Devin's heartbeat while he was still in the womb. I got to see him just one hour after he was born, and we got to leave the hospital with our son. Having a newborn is challenging, to say the least. Daily showers are no longer a given for this momma. Heck, getting out of my pj's doesn't happen everyday. I sleep in 2 1/2 hour intervals at night (on the good nights, that is). Dev has struggled with gas, or colic, or SOMETHING that has caused him to spend hours wailing at the top of his little lungs. We are on our third formula with him, and we think the third time is the charm cuz things are improving greatly. Hallelujah! All this to say, I feel overwhelmingly blessed to have two beautiful, healthy, perfect little kidlets. God is good!

Dev and his gramma. I LOOOOVE this picture.

Lily's sassy new "do"...she couldn't be any cuter.

Lil entertaining all of us. (Devin looks like he's trying to figure her out, doesn't he!?)

Look at that face!!!!

So cute!

I had to go out and get myself a sassy "do" too. Now Lily says we match...yep, practically twins, the two of us!

Introducing Devin Jacob...

So, that's our "little man" as we call him...or "little blue eyes" as Lily has affectionately nicknamed him. The court appointment went well today and Devin is officially our son. Praise God!!! Hope you enjoyed the pictures of our sweet boy - I'll be back soon with the full story on how we became a family of four. (right now I have an extremely fussy, gassy 11 day old who needs my attention.) It's ALL good.

It's a boy!

It's amazing how much life can change in one short month. On January 14th we received a phone call from our Social Worker telling us we had been chosen by another birthmom and dad. On February 14th our baby was born.

I'm skippin' a whole lotta details here...and I will come back with the long version of the story in a few days.

Our "risk period" ends this Wednesday at 1:30pm when the birthparents go to court and sign the FINAL paperwork...so to all my prayer warrior friends: please pray that all goes smoothly on Wednesday. THEN, I will be doing a post introducing our SON - and it will include lots of pictures of his perfect little face (and fingers, and toes, etc.)

P.S. Lily looooooooves him. She is the best big sister ever.

Be back soon!